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Decisions

This week I rekindled my love for strong individuals who have been through it all, and somehow still smile despite adversity. I’ve always admire them, but this week especially, it’s on a whole different level.

To be or not to be, that is the question, one of the most famous lines from
Shakespeare. Every day we are making choices, given choices and dealing with
either consequences or rewards of those choices.

How do we know if we are making the right decisions? Perhaps we can always look at the outcome for the answer, or maybe we won’t even find out till years from now. Either way it’s so very important to think about the choices we make now for it can make or break our future.

I hate to turn this into my own personal venting tool, for I despise it when
others do this. This will probably never happen again, so I apologize in
advance for been a hypocrite.

From the toughest decisions to the ones that definitely didn’t need much thought, we’ve all made decisions at some point in life. Whether we want to own up to those choices or not is the question. For better, or worse we have to make choices, its part of life forever and always.

A few years ago I made some choices that have alter the course of my life, both good and bad. Looking back today I asked myself “what in the world was I thinking”. I’ve even asked whether or not my brain was functioning properly. One of those choices I do regret, but I have learned so much from it. It’s broaden my horizon on so many aspects of life that I cannot even begin to explain. On the other hand, the pain it brought to my life is unbearable. And everyday I am going to have to live with it, and smile. I do still have the days where it just really hit me, and I completely breakdown.

This brings me to the thought of happiness. Happiness my friend is not a destination, it’s a journey. I’ve especially had a hard time with this, because I’ve always been chasing it for so long. Then one day I decided to stop, and then it found me. I didn’t even realize how happy I was till somebody else mentioned it. But lately this journey hit a few stop lights and it doesn’t feel as smooth as it was lets’ say at this time a year ago. I know it’s telling me to pause and revaluate my life, but I feel like I’ve been doing that all year long. Sometimes I just feel like I am not ready to make this life changing choices. I mean it impacts my life greatly; I’m not taking about what shirt I have to put on today or what I should eat. I am taking about career, family etc. They all look like a breeze, but when you actually have to decide on them, it’s tough.

At the beginning of this year, my Bishop told me that I’m going to have to make very important choices this year. In my head I was thinking oh yea I know, but I didn’t actually. I was thinking oh yea I have to decide what I really want to do with my life, what I am mostly passionate about. While that was indeed one the choices I’ve made thus far this year, it’s one of the many and the year isn’t even over yet. So imagine what the next 2 1/2 month has in-store for me. Perhaps its’ indeed part of been an adult, but its’ the timing I’m not so fond of. Do all this really have to happen at once? How can I be so sure that I am making the right choices? I just pray to God, and ask him to help me. He’s the best thing I’ve got in my life, so I ask him for help always

With all this, I am so glad for the trials I’m gone and going through. It’s made me who I am, without them I really don’t think I’ll be the same person. Every day is something new, I learn from it and move on. And if I ignore it, it comes back till I get the message, then it becomes history. But it really haunts me till I make a choice on it. Wow! I just realize this now. I guess now I just answer my own question, on why history keeps repeating itself in my life. With the answer been so simple, why did it take me this long to finally acknowledge this? Yea I’m the type of person that likes to deal with things as they come, but I do push something’s aside till I can deal with it. This I definitely have to change.

I need to start taking action, instead of just saying “oh I am going to do this”. It’s easier said than done. The whole world knows, yet while is action so hard to take? Everything
happens for a reason it’s something I’ve always know to be true, because of what life constantly throws at me. Since I know that, it makes dealing with certain trials a bit easier. I just handle it better, and I try my best to not complain.

I’ve been meaning to post this for a while, I still have so much to say but I should stop now. I must dedicate this to all of the indecisive people worldwide. I feel your pain; it’s going to get better. It might help to just make your decision quick and fast and not ponder too long especially when the right choice is obvious.

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