I want to first thank my heavenly father, for his blessings in my life. For his never-ending love for me. This isn’t really the story of my life as I’ve just realized, just the beginning. I ponder on this so much though that it really has become a part of the stories of my life, and the many more I hope to live to tell.
I want to share a bit of myself with you today, not that you don’t already know enough. But I think it will help put things in perspective on why I am the way I am. I’m pretty much an open book. But this one particular trial (I’ll metaphorically refer to it) has been an unsolvable puzzle. Earlier last week I believe it was Tuesday night to be more specific I was attacked. I tried so hard to fight it, but eventually I just gave in. I knew the consequence, but why wasn’t it big enough for me to just stop? I’ve asked myself this so many times and I can’t think of an answer to the question. When I’m in that state of mind, its like nothing matters, everything I’ve known about that situation just gets erased from my memory completely. And I always hear and imagine is that tiny light reminding me of the consequence, but it’s never enough for me to just stop. I pray to God to help me find the answer to that question. After I’ve completed the phase, I break down and realize what a horrible thing I just did, a few days later its will happen again, and again, and again. It’s a circle, and I have to deal with it this year, it’s the biggest thing in my life at the moment. I know God wants me to get over this too, as I’m constantly reminded of it everyday, and I can just feel it my heart. I’m just not sure how, but I know the first step will to give complete control to God, and to have patience . But it’s so hard, because it’s literally eating me alive inside, but I know I have to be patient. For if I’m not I’ll never get over this. In the past, I would’ve just done things my way and hope that God help me through it. But now, I pray before I do things, therefore I know God will help me through it. So I know for sure, He’ll help me get through this .
It’s amazing to see his work in my life. It really brings tears of happiness to my life just following the path He paved for me. My life has progressed in unbelievable ways that I can’t even comprehend the magnitude of Gods’ work in my life. You’ll really think I’m lying. This brings me to my next point of reference, sorting and idolizing things in our life. Everyone has a hierarchy they live their lives on. Or as least wish to have one. In all, we’ve all thought of it at some point in our lives. Today I was especially shocked when I realized the idols I’ve been worshiping in my life. They were so high on the hierarchy of my life that it completely left me in tears. The worst part is God was behind a few of the things I claim to value in life. It shouldn’t be that way at all. It left me pondering on if I really do trust God. Do you trust God? I mean really think about it, the obvious might be “well yes off course I do”. But really think about the pyramid of things you hold of high value, is God the leader of that Pyramid? Think of this: Parents, will eventually fail their kids. Friends will eventually disappoint you at one point or another. Clothes will eventually rip or get worn out. Technology will eventually lead to a decrease of the human race, and finally “It is preoccupation with possessions, more than anything else, that prevents us from living freely and nobly” (Thoreau). God on the other hand will NEVER fail you, He will NEVER disappoint you, you can NEVER worn Him out, and above all, he will NEVER stop loving you. No greater love has ever been known than that of our Heavenly father. God, is the only thing on that pyramid that’s unshakeable.
It’s about 1:40 am central time zone. I had an amazing day! Every time I work out at night I’m just so full of joy because I get to reflect on my day and its like me time. It’s so good to take care of your body. I have a busy week ahead, but really when am I not busy? I just prioritize and put first things first. I start off my week with God leading the way, and I pray that this drive in me continues the rest of the week. I’m so thankful for his love in my life and for things he has done, and will continue to do in my life. I hope you have a wonderful day – happy Monday morning, it’s going to be a great day just watch and see.