It has been way too long, way too long. I am literally in tears right now, because I haven’t post anything for a while . Not only have I not post anything, I just haven’t been writing. Writing to me is a form of worship to the one I love, and I have noticed a significant difference in my life, due to my lack of writing. A few weeks ago, maybe last week actually, I was dwelling on how much I miss it. When I write, it is always a personal time with the Lord. He teaches me, just sitting there listening and typing. He corrects me, in whatever I am not doing well, and he encourages me, and i just really love sharing what He place on my heart, with you.
God, is always doing incredible things in my life, and I love sharing that with you. Writing also helps me put things in perspective. Just unpacking scripture, dwelling and meditating on Him brings me joy, more than I can begin to explain. So it hurts me deeply that I haven’t been making time for it. And I have been ignoring the little nudges from God for the past two weeks. And now He just completely broke me down. He is put me into a place where I have to write to Him, and talk to him. There is something special about this, its so personal, I can’t explain it.
I just miss this so much, more than you can ever understand. For a while I felt like a part of me is missing. I need to be more intentional about writing, or else it will never get done, and I will make all the excuse in the world for it. I won’t even bother with excuses I just won’t do it, because I don’t think it’s as important as other things in my life. But the Lord, is reminding me that the greatest commandment, is that I know God. “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” This is the first and greatest commandment.” (Matthew 22:37-38). A love relationship with God is more important than any other single factor in my/your life. I was born to know God, not fill up with facts about Him, but to Know Him. This is more important than school, family, you can fill in the blank with anything else. If I want to be all things to all man for the sake of the Gospel, I have to be fully consecrated to God. I can’t be one foot in and one foot out. That’s not a relationship, I don’t even know what that is. And I am realizing a lot clearer how much writing is a huge part of that. It is most certainly not sacred, the only thing sacred in life is my walk with the Lord. But I have been experiencing some “interesting” things since I have not been writing. Almost like I am morning that part of my life, like its dead or something. As I said, “interesting”, but God is so alive, I am sure of that, because I woke up this morning only by his grace.
Everything is my/your Christian life, everything about knowing Him and experiencing Him, everything about knowing His will depends on the quality of your love relationship with God. My new years resolution is to be made more into His image daily, well every second actually (it is not too much to ask for). It is so neat to see how God is answering that prayer, I have been going hard after it in prayer. By his grace I have been throwing off everything that hinders and the sins that so easily entangles. Now this year, I am running after his heart big time. Now He is helping me realize, just how much it is costing me, and will keep costing me. Been fully consecrated on Him is expensive. I am not speaking in monetary terms, but rather other friends, family and the like. I don’t know the Greek for consecrate, but I take it literally as it is. And it is so hard to find other people that want to be fully consecrated in the Lord, that really love Him, with all their heart, soul and mind. And if nothing else, its hard to find people who can admit that out loud, and then let God began sanctifying them. Even if they do, but how hard are they willing to work. It’s a question I am struck with a lot. I am a type of person that does not like to make empty promises. If I say I am going to do something, by Gods grace I will do it. He’s not going to let me make empty promises. He will make sure what ever it is gets done, this is the Father I have and the savior that keeps redeeming me. Lord, I know they are out there, please put them on my path.
I did not wake up one morning loving God above all else, it is a process, and even now, everyday I must hang up my cross, my will, and follow Him. I want to be a woman fully consecrated in Christ, it is a constant prayer in my life. By Gods grace I am going to write as much as He allows, sharing everything He is teaching me.
God, I am going to keep following you, I am going to keep running after you with everything inside of me. You are my priority in life, so I am going to run after you with EVERYTHING you have provided me. Thank you for been a faithful loving Father. Thank You for been a good Shepherd. Keep setting my heart of fire for You always. Lord, I praise You that you are present in the midst of everything You are letting me experience, such a blessing. Lord, You are not going to let me go, I know it! You are my everything. Lord, I am going to keep following you, whatever it takes, I want to be made into Your image. I am not settling for anything less than Jesus. Whatever the circumstances, whatever the trials, whatever you have prepared for me to walk through, I pray that I will obey in full humility, I pray that You will get my heart in such a state that it has no will of its own in regard to a given matter. By your grace alone Lord, I pray that I will seek the Will of the Spirit, of God through, or in connection, with the Word of God. I pray Lord, that You will let my present be molded and shaped by what I am to become in Your Son Jesus Christ. I pray that I will seek Your kingdom and Your righteousness first above all else. By Your grace Oh Lord, I will invest in things that are eternal. Above all else Lord, I plead/pray that your will be done, always, whatever it takes.