To Him who I love more than anything in life. To Him who has captivated my heart. To Him who is gracious in revealing ways I can know more about Him. To Him who is ever present, ever enduring. Father, to you who was there when I was distant and lost. You traded Your life for my advances, for my redemption, You carried all the blame. To Him who gave His life for me in a beautiful exchange. To Him alone, I will look to for comfort, strength, and hope. Father, to you who is able to do way more than I can image, dream, to You alone I live for (Ephesians 3:20). Hillsong, the whole army (really) is a blessing from Jesus. I praise God for them. My only desire and sole ambition is love You as You love me. Lord, my life is forever changed by the work you did on the cross for me. Lord, you bought me! I was purchased! I was adopted into your family. Not by my choice, but by You. You did everything, things I could not even begin to imagine. Therefore, the life I live is no longer mines but completely yours (Colossians 3:3).
“In God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me? I am under vows to you, O God; I will present my thank offerings to you. For You have delivered me from death and my feet from stumbling, that I may walk before God in the light of life” (Psalm 56:11).
I am under vows to The Almighty God of the universe, that is wrecking my world right now. This is a covenant. He is all I have. I have a purpose because of Him. All I want in this world is more of You. “He must become greater, I must become less” (John 3:30). Father, I pray that You will help me decrease everyday. Everything I have cries out for You.
Lord, to You I stand with arms high and heart abandoned. To You I stand in awe of all your majesty and beauty. To You I stand in complete surrender, by your grace alone. To You I stand, overwhelmed and consumed by your love for me, and your creation. “Apart from You I can do nothing” (John 15:5). Lord, I am grateful for all you are making me to be, help me live to worship you, without you I am nothing.
Father I pray that in my weakness, your greatness will be more evident. May you be glorified in my weakness. How can I even begin to pour out all you are doing in not only my life, but all around me? Lord, may you be glorified in this. May Your Spirit be the only One directing every word, may You be magnified in this Father.
Life has been interesting, I tend to use the word interesting when I have absolutely no clue how to describe the magnitude of things. Better yet, I should say, life has been God size amazing. At the end of May I left for East Asia, I came back at the end of June, then 5 or so days later, I left for Pine Cove , in Tyler Texas. At Pine Cove, I am working with inner city Kids, sharing Jesus with them from mid morning to afternoon. In my last post, way back in May, I mentioned that I most likely will not be posting a lot, that journaling on paper will be more utilized, than the web. That’s really how the Lord has planned it thus far. Its been amazing, lets just say that.
I have been learning a ton this summer, so my prayer is that in His timing He will give me the chance to share details as He solely desires. One of the many amazing lessons is more about my utter and total dependence on Him. None should ever take God’s sovereignty lightly, because He truly does hold past, present, and future. The whole universe is in His control. When I was in East Asia (EA), He will literally bring me student to tell His story to. He went way ahead of me in freeing up some students that helped me with translation when necessary, so language was honestly the least of my worries. Honestly, now when I think about it, nothing should have been my worries, because He called me there, and He always provides when He calls. I am not there to accomplish my own agenda. I went with expectation, waiting on the Lord. And off course He showed up! The God of the Bible (Jesus) is so big. The Bible says that demons shutter at the name of Jesus (James 2:19), I am not surprise. All I need is Him.
God will literally put me in situations where I am forced to rely on Him, and nothing less. At my current job, literally if I don’t rely on Him I am miserable. If He doesn’t get bigger, and I become less (John 3:30) every second of everyday, it becomes evident in my actions and thoughts. It affects every area of my life. I am just desperate for Him. I need Him, this cannot be overstated.
One thing that the enemy is trying to fight again, is body image. He has freed me from it. But been at camp, has amplify this a bit. And the best part is that God, is letting me walk in victory. This isn’t hindering, but only encouraging. Months ago, I would have been dwelling in self pity about how I am gaining so much weight, and how my body is changing. But now, God is been gracious in speaking His identify over me. That He’s my standard, not the world. That my identity is found in Him, not the world. That I am made in His image, not the worlds. He’s not letting me overeat or binge anymore. Just enough to sustain me for that very second. Everyday we are progressing in this together. He’s is so good to me, how can I not want to Him. Lord, I thank you so much, for letting me walk in victory over eating disorder, depression, and body image. Lord, You are the example in my life, help me always remember that. Lord, I pray that every bite I take today will bring glory to you, that I will keep looking for my satisfaction in You, and not food. Lord, I want to keep growing in this area, every second of everyday.
Another victory is that I have been praying that He will be my one and only. That I will be content with Him alone (I have been praying this one for months). Also that He will become greater, and I will become less (John 3:30), and God has been faithful in using trials and difficulties to practically answering this prayers and so much more. He is literally all I have. Last week, He literally said that its just me and Him, when I was praising Him. And I was overfilled with joy and songs of praises, because I am more content in Him that ever before. And He will just show me examples of how , which makes me very happy. The fact, that He is so practical to all of lives situations. He doesn’t have to let me see how He answers my prayers, but He does anyways. (He really does have seal upon my heart. He has place me like a seal upon His arm. For His love for me is as strong as death), “its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame. Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away. If one were to give all the wealth of His house for love, it will be utterly scorned” (Song of Songs 8:6-7).
I pray that If you don’t know who Jesus is, that you will seek to have a relationship with Him. He is better than anything life has to offer. I am praying for you, that you will come to know how deep and wide His love is for you. Lord, I pray that He will captivate every soul that is reading this. Lord open the floodgates of heaven. Let your cross become real in their lives. God you are good, and may your name be made known in creation, May your name be known in every area of our country. I pray that you will raised up leaders that love You above all else. Lord, I pray for our government, that You will be a part of every decision they make. Lord, that Americans will be a people after the heart of the Creator, Jesus Christ. May you rule every sector of society, Amen.