Father, thank You so much for taking care of me today. Not that I didn’t think You wouldn’t come through, but the gifts throughout the day was utterly precious of You. It is so like You, to simply fill me up, at the perfect timing.
I woke up today just feeling refreshed and energized. As I began to pray, I don’t even remember why I stopped. Then as I was worshipping, and it was wonderful, but I had to cut it short because I needed to do my hair. Goodness, I cannot believe this is my excuse, which ultimately affected some of my day. I was so determined to get my hair done, at all possible cost, in the morning, I could see nothing wrong with this. I was just so excited that God woke me up early to do it. But it ultimately came with a price.
I hear the Lord saying that sometimes He gives us what we want just so He can show us how unnecessary whatever the thing is. My Spirit wanted to worship this morning, and I did not adequately feed it. I already had my own personal agenda of getting my hair done.
God allowed me to go through everything to show me that everything in this world is really temporary, it’s so fleeting. I watched in class today, as people were complimenting “your hair looks nice”, “you look nice”, you are matching”. In my head, I am thinking “you noticed”? I am the type of person that wears t-shirts, sweats a lot, I have absolutely no desire to impress anyone. I don’t wear makeup, I don’t do my hair often, at least as of late. My view is, I am not here to be popular with the crowd. I am here to bring Jesus fame, and I am popular with Him, and He truly is the only one I want to be popular with. And I have His approval already, so who cares what the rest of the world thinks.
But through out the day, till about 12ish, I was so distracted. I could not concentrate in lectures. I remember even starting at my watch like I have somewhere else to be at. I was asking God, what was going on, and He said nothing. So at lunch time, even as I was reading the Word, I was still distracted, I would eat and read. After I took my last plate of food. Mind you that I could hear clearly, stop eating, but I convinced myself that it was my own voice, and not The Holy Spirit. So I got my last plate of food, I sat on my bed, and still, I kept hearing a voice, stop eating, but I ignored it. Then the Holy Spirit said, that I was binge eating, and I almost wept. I repented, and after this, I was a bit down, so I started playing worship songs, and praying to the Lord. I could clearly ear God saying, just get back up, shake it off.
Lord, I must say, I did not mope in self pity, I did not beat myself up. The only option you gave me was to get back up, and start living again. In the past, I would have criticizing myself, and listen to the lie of the enemy that I am still in bondage to whatever the sin was. The Holy Spirit today, reminded me how much Satan loves it when we criticizes, and condemn ourselves, he is literally dancing and rejoicing. I did not have time to throw myself a pity party, praise God. I would have been the only person in attendance. This was not even an option, by any means. Romans 8:1 There now, there is no condemnation for those who live in Christ Jesus, who live according to the Spirit. The Spirit of Condemnation does not come from The Lord.
Holy Spirit, thank You for flooding the life You gave me with the presence of the almighty. The One that is all consuming, all transforming, and the greatest Gift to not only myself, but mankind as a whole. Let me be aware of Your presence more and more please. Let me be overwhelm by the glory of your presence.
Your glory Lord, is what my heart longs for.