I think about my relationship with God and how much its evolve over time. As a daughter, the more and more I walk with Him the more I realize that convictions change as we grow in our relationship with God. 2 Peter 2:3:18 said to “grow in the knowledge of Christ”. It’s a required part of our relationship with God.
Let’s say for a season I’m led to visit different churches. 1000 different reasons could have led me to that and yes even God. Then six months later, in a whole new season of life God begins to teach me about commitment, and the importance of been planted in a church body. Using the analogy of watching a fruit seed grow, to further understand the importance of learning to really know the heart of The Father in and through all seasons of life. Now you’re told you need to go plant apple seeds among X people where you’re at, because He wants to teach you about commitment, dedication, He literally wants to teach you everything you need for the seeds to grow and become a blooming delicious crunchy apples!
But Lord… I am crying out. “You told me it was okay to go to XYZ church before, now You’re changing your mind”.
“Yes daughter, that was for that particular season, this season I am doing a new thing and I don’t want you to miss it because of your own disobedient”.
“Alright Daddy, I got it.”
Now my convictions went from I can visit different churches to I need to get planted among a body of believers because God says so. This is why we can’t put God in a box. He doesn’t want us worshipping the Words in the pages on The Bible. Frankly, I believe He wants you to BECOME THE WORD. First of all, “He is The Word” (John 1:1), and “He is Spirit, and those who worship Him must worship Him in Spirit and in truth” (John 4:24). Worship His Spirit, cultivated a relationship with the Person, and stop beating yourself down for not been a “so called” strick follower of the Bible. Let the way you worship God truly be like a relationship you have with fellow brothers and sisters, or father daughter, son mother type relationship. We don’t need to make it weird simply because He’s God. He’s also a person, and He’s supper jealous for your heart.
I am in season where I see God bringing up personal convictions that He’s instilled in me, but somehow got buried, and some that I choose to ignore. He’s rekindling my heart for Him. One of my personal convictions, still is…but I’ve completely ignored it for the past year is spending a alone time with guys without anybody else there. Kissing any guy that’s not my husband, another one I use to not stand for. Now I am no longer standing for it by Gods graces, but goodness I can’t help but think That God was hurt by it all, I don’t want to disappoint Him. I know He loves me beyond measure still, but I didn’t keep my words. Why did I not keep my words…that’s the real issue here. The only thing that’s coming to mind is that there’s a disconnect from my heart and His. Every underlying thing that’s ever been an issue with me, I can usually always trace it back to my relationship with God. Its very sad that God has to allow me to break promises I make Him to pull my heart and affections back to Him. But at the same time, I rejoice because of EVERYTHING the whole process taught me.
For example I’m beyond convinced that I shouldn’t kiss in a relationship, because really it just open unnecessary doors that only married people should be opening. Now I know why I believe that, before I broke the promise, it was simply head knowledge, wisdom from others. But now after going through with it, yes I have my own convictions. It’s no longer wisdom I read about, it’s become my own personal experience. But we don’t have to live life on experience, that’s what God is trying tell me. We can listen to Him the first time and not go through situations that yes we can learn from it, but we didn’t have to go through all that simply to learn a lesson.
It brings up another question…why am I not listening to Him? I’m the type of person that like to deal with root of problems, rather than external circumstance. I can keep making promises again and again, but it will probably get broken if the root of the issue is not dealt with. I don’t want to sin against God, and this past year, the thought of how much can I indulge in a particular act before its sin crossed my mind once too many times. I use to not be this way.
Now We’re dealing with it all. I am learning about whom I belong to again, because frankly I don’t think I really knew Him. I was too busy waiting on promises to be fulfil that I kept my focus off of The Promise One. Goodness! “Him who made the promise is faithful” (Hebrews 11:11). He didn’t need my help when He created the universe, and He sure doesn’t need my help to fulfil His incredible promises for my life.
From now on it’s about Him, not His promises and blessings. It’s not about what He can do for me, but about who He is. It’s about know His heart. Who cares if you know what will happen in 20 years, but you don’t know the heart of God. Who cares if you can fathom all the mysteries of the world but you still don’t know the heart of God, or if you can speak in many tongues, prophesy, cast out demons, heal the sick, perform miracles. And at the end of the day, you still don’t know the heart of God/who He is. I want my love for Him to keep growing stronger and stronger, every second of everyday, and that’s my prayer for you too.