Rekindling Fire

I think about my relationship with God and how much its evolve over time. As a daughter, the more and more I walk with Him the more I realize that convictions change as we grow in our relationship with God. 2 Peter 2:3:18 said to “grow in the knowledge of Christ”. It’s a required part of our relationship with God.

Let’s say for a season I’m led to visit different churches. 1000 different reasons could have led me to that and yes even God. Then six months later, in a whole new season of life God begins to teach me about commitment, and the importance of been planted in a church body. Using the analogy of watching a fruit seed grow, to further understand the importance of learning to really know the heart of The Father in and through all seasons of life. Now you’re told you need to go plant apple seeds among X people where you’re at, because He wants to teach you about commitment, dedication,  He literally wants to teach you everything you need for the seeds to grow and become a blooming delicious crunchy apples!

But Lord… I am crying out. “You told me it was okay to go to XYZ church before, now You’re changing your mind”.

“Yes daughter, that was for that particular season, this season I am doing a new thing and I don’t want you to miss it because of your own disobedient”.

“Alright Daddy, I got it.”

Now my convictions went from I can visit different churches to I need to get planted among a body of believers because God says so. This is why we can’t put God in a box. He doesn’t want us worshipping the Words in the pages on The Bible. Frankly, I believe He wants you to BECOME THE WORD.  First of all, “He is The Word” (John 1:1), and “He is Spirit, and those who worship Him must worship Him in Spirit and in truth” (John 4:24).  Worship His Spirit, cultivated a relationship with the Person, and stop beating yourself down for not been a “so called” strick follower of the Bible. Let the way you worship God truly be like a relationship you have with fellow brothers and sisters, or father daughter, son mother type relationship. We don’t need to make it weird simply because He’s God. He’s also a person, and He’s supper jealous for your heart.

I am in season where I see God bringing up personal convictions that He’s instilled in me, but somehow got buried, and some that I choose to ignore. He’s rekindling my heart for Him. One of my personal convictions, still is…but I’ve completely ignored it for the past year is spending a alone time with guys without anybody else there. Kissing any guy that’s not my husband, another one I use to not stand for.  Now I am no longer standing for it by Gods graces, but goodness I can’t help but think That God was hurt by it all, I don’t want to disappoint Him. I know He loves me beyond measure still, but I didn’t keep my words. Why did I not keep my words…that’s the real issue here. The only thing that’s coming to mind is that there’s a disconnect from my heart and His. Every underlying thing that’s ever been an issue with me, I can usually always trace it back to my relationship with God. Its very sad that God has to allow me to break promises I make Him to pull my heart and affections back to Him. But at the same time, I rejoice because of EVERYTHING the whole process taught me.

For example I’m beyond convinced that I shouldn’t kiss in a relationship, because really it just open unnecessary doors that only married people should be opening. Now I know why I believe that, before I broke the promise, it was simply head knowledge, wisdom from others. But now after going through with it, yes I have my own convictions. It’s no longer wisdom I read about, it’s become my own personal experience. But we don’t have to live life on experience, that’s what God is trying tell me. We can listen to Him the first time and not go through situations that yes we can learn from it, but we didn’t have to go through all that simply to learn a lesson.

It brings up another question…why am I not listening to Him? I’m the type of person that like to deal with root of problems, rather than external circumstance. I can keep making promises again and again, but it will probably get broken if the root of the issue is not dealt with. I don’t want to sin against God, and this past year, the thought of how much can I indulge in a particular act before its sin crossed my mind once too many times. I use to not be this way.

Now We’re dealing with it all. I am learning about whom I belong to again, because frankly I don’t think I really knew Him. I was too busy waiting on promises to be fulfil that I kept my focus off of The Promise One. Goodness! “Him who made the promise is faithful” (Hebrews 11:11). He didn’t need my help when He created the universe, and He sure doesn’t need my help to fulfil His incredible promises for my life.

From now on it’s about Him, not His promises and blessings. It’s not about what He can do for me, but about who He is. It’s about know His heart. Who cares if you know what will happen in 20 years, but you don’t know the heart of God. Who cares if you can fathom all the mysteries of the world but you still don’t know the heart of God, or if you can speak in many tongues, prophesy, cast out demons, heal the sick, perform miracles. And at the end of the day, you still don’t know the heart of God/who He is. I want my love for Him to keep growing stronger and stronger, every second of everyday, and that’s my prayer for you too.


Divine Encounters

Lately, the cry of my heart is “Lord I want the more”.  That should always be all believers cry. I am learning that it simply increases in every season of life. Yes, I sought Gods face yesterday, last week, last month, but for this season its different. I have to seek Him more, in a different way, different places, but still the same never changing God. He utterly delights in us pursuing Him in fun, spontaneous joyful way. He loves when we lavish our “so-call” free time on Him.

For the first 3 1/2 months of this year, I would go to the beach as often as I could to spend time with God in prayer, worshiping, evangelizing, whatever He wants. That was three months ago, now I am not even surrounded by water. Severe things can happen in this kinds of situation. I can either hold on to the beach memories, and ask God that I want to go back there, or I can find something else around me that I enjoy and make new memories with God.

I chose the latter, I choose to go on an adventure to unfamiliar places because I serve an everlasting God, whose presence never cease to come everywhere I go. Who always goes before me, and makes every rough paths smooth (Isaiah 45:2). The beach was one the best places that I would go to spend time with God three months ago, but not in the season I am in now. Now it’s the park, and everywhere I go.

Last week,  as I was about to leave the park, Holy Spirit started talking to me about this guy that was a bit far from me.  So then off course since everything God does is perfect, this guy started walking toward me, so then I got up and walked and stopped him to share The Word with Him. He was encouraged, and I got to pray over Him, releasing the presence of God in His life, and  His family.

At the park, I’ve gotten to share The Word, pray to God, sing a new song onto my beloved. I can’t imagine spending time with him elsewhere. Tomorrow might be a different story, but today, I enjoy dancing like no one’s watching, and just be free. I love watching God change the weather so I can worship Him outside. One time I remember I was going running and it started to sprinkle, and I was like Lord, please hold it for like 20, 30 minutes, till I am done with my run, and he did. Another time, Holy Spirit told me to go to the park at 4pm, it was so hot outside, and am like Lord, let it breezy and not sunny. Mind you it was not breezy before I left and burning hot. I got to the park, I found our spot (Jesus and I) it was breezy, I didn’t even sweat. The sun wasn’t burning hot like it was earlier. All the work of God, I simply asked and He freely gave, because He’s an amazing Father who is for me and not against me.

Take home message Is to make your mind, and not let circumstances determine, how or where you will worship God. He’s so big, strong and mighty and so much fun. If you would only dare to purse him as you purse your earthly relationships, your whole world would turn upside down.  But no, we have to try and “fix” ourselves, listen to the lie of the enemy that we are not worthy. No His death made you worthy. You simply come as you are, and let him take you into your next level of glory. Don’t put Him in a box, he cannot fit in. I pray that you will never lose your wonder of Him, and passionately purse Him in new and exciting way.

Kingdom Culture

No matter where you are around the world, you will always find brothers and sisters who love  Him more than life. One of my friends from Houston met another friend from Chicago, and another friend whom I have yet to meet. Everyone got connected, had an amazing Jesus party, I was their in the spirit, as one of them put it. I love when God connects His very own people.

A few thins I came to share. Lord, I am so sorry for not sharing testimonies at church today, they are not mines to keep, lets work on this please. I don’t want this to be hindering the advancement of Your Kingdom.

Secondly Lord, thank you for bring Mary, Rachel and John together. Your dream team indeed! I see you are laughing Lord. I am grateful to make You smile.

Thirdly thank you for the hearts you are awakening here at school, ahh so exciting to see people who don’t know you yet desire to know more about Jesus.

I just love sitting thinking about You, and how much I can’t get enough of you. Oh this I must share, at church today. My Beloved had me look at my hands/shoulders and I was, and still am covered in glitter, metallic bronze. It was more earlier in the day, but all I could do was just sit and praise God. Most of the time I would literally just see one glitter, and I would just thank Him, and ask for more, and He’s giving me more than I could have even imagine! You know how the Holy Spirit consumes one, He said His glory in form of glitters in my case would consume every area of the life He gave me. And I say yes, and Amen.

Daddy, thank You for a wonderful day, the only day you could have made. A Perfect day, a day of infinitely greater things than the day before. A day of peace, a day of Joy. A day of new dreams, a day of new passion and exciting adventure with the Maker of the Skies. You are beyond worth of the praises of the universe, help me NEVER get tired of saying this.

All my love,