Details In The Fabric.

I thank God for his love for me, for been abundantly kind to me, and above all for always testing my faith through trials.This past week was exceptionaly impeccable. I have trials that I’m dealing but its magnitude for some odd reason just weren’t very high. Its really difficult to explain. I felt as if I was flowing on water.

I warn you, I’m going to contradict myself so beware.

I could feel the powerful sunshine that’s been resurrecting through my soul slowly getting dimmer. I couldn’t really understand why so I prayed to God for answers. And I surely received my answers today.

We are all given agencies in life, whether we accept and use them is completely up to our individuals desires. On Feb 13th, after days of pondering on what to write about next, God literally gave me a topic to share with the world. But I made so many excuses for myself that It never got done. Every day was a different excuse. Through out the whole week, I started noticing that I wasn’t as happy, I mean I wasn’t sad either. But I could tell a piece of the puzzle was missing. But I couldn’t figure out what it was, and it bother me so much. I would pause a lot and think about what I’ve been doing differently or ways to just learn more about my Heavenly Father. In all, God was showing me why following his commandments is the only way to live righteously.

Challenging ourselves as Christians is so important for it will only increase our faith in Jesus Christ. Untested faith, is nothing mere of absolute nothing. Its not faith at all. We have to challenge ourselves and shake the foundation if we want to get closer to Christ. I’m sure you’ve all heard the phrase “actions speak louder than words”. I can’t even begin to tell you the importance of that. I mean its so true that explaining it is extremely difficult. Yet action is so hard to take, because we as individuals don’t want to stir things up. We like the way things are, so it make sense to leave things as they are. We get way too confortable and stuck in our own ways of doing things that changes are simply out of the question. Unfortunately in reality change is inevitable. But one thing we don’t realize is if our faith isn’t tested God will test it for us. Our Heavenly Father will stir that foundation so hard to strengthen our faith in him. If the foundation you’ve built with God is sturdy enough no matter how much you shake it, it will never fall. Temptation is a powerful measure that man uses as a weapon to bring each other down. But only the temptation of Christ should be powerful enough to ever stir the foundation a bit. If its strong we as mortal beings cannot destroy it.

Jesus is the prince of peace. He brings dignity, He brings hope, and He brings Love. Only He can calm your heart. I have a testimony that having faith in Jesus Christ gives you life. In choosing his pact one must be willing to give up our own security and safety net. Don’t always go with that looks right, always look for the spiritual implication. Look at your circumstances in life through Gods’ eye. Look at the world through Him so he can show you areas in your life where you don’t fully trust him.

Taste things past the tip of your tongue. Father, I am so dearly thankful for you. You’re amazing, and absolutely the Prince of peace. I want to thank You for lighting me up with abundant joy. You’ve shown your mercy in unbelievable ways. I can’t even figure You out for You always keep me at the tip of my toe. I love it! Above all thank you for always giving me the courage to taste things I normally won’t try.

My Testimony.

I can’t really ask for anything else more rewarding in life at the moment. I mean I have God around me and he has bless me in such ways that I’m pretty speechless.

I went to the Blinn Christian Fellowship thing today, that was beyond awesome!

About a year ago I was introduced to someone who I can truly count on. Lately I’ve been having the best days of my life, so I feel the need to share his story with others and hope he can change their life too.

There’s a huge difference in accepting that theirs actually a higher power than believing that such thing actually exist.

In 1 Corinthians 8:6 we read “yet for us there is but one God, the Father, from whom all things came from whom we live; and there is but one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom all things came and through whom we live”.

Its not a coincidence that you wake up every morning breathing. Its no coincidence that you have the things you wish for in life. Nor is it a coincidence that we have options on how to live our lives.

It is through Christ that all this things are possible. Even after I accepted Christ in my life, it took a few trials for me to actually started believing in him. Its like you know he’s there, but then you start doubting him and his ability.

I had to change my lifestyle for me to start receiving his blessings. You would think, oh it was probably very difficult. And yes it was, I have no reason to deny that, but with Him around me constantly it was much easier.

This year I decided to just start living my life following his path. I mean its been there for years, and why I didn’t in the past? It was Gods’ will.

All the trials I’ve experience to this point in my life has been his way of showing me how amazing he is. I would literally sit there and ponder and then finally I would just stop. I remember at one point for a whole week, He was just all over my head, I could not get him out! I wanted him gone, but he keep pressing till I fully succumb to him. It was a progressively slow process, because that’s how he wanted it.

Off course like the rest of society I was very impatient. I was looking for a quick fix, something that involved little to no commitment. I just wanted my problems to go away, and I thought well if I just believe in him and tell him that everyday he would fix it.

How ignorant huh! It was a very rude awakening and nothing about Him was interesting anymore so I did what I do best, ran. Ran very far away. It was to a point where every time I hear his name I was angry and furious at the man, for I thought he failed me in life.

Its taken me about 18th years to get to this point in my life. Every trial I’ve face was a requirement or else I still would be lost. It was a very slow process that I’m so glad to have experience.

The weirdest things have happen in my life over the years, that I’ve grown to believe everything indeed happens for a reason.

Example its not a coincidence that I went to Breakaway tonight, and we were talking about living ones life according to Gods’ will and not your own. I started writing this way before then. It was through Christ, Him and only Him. Come to think of it now, it’s a lot more ironic than I thought at first.

I remember when I use to get angry when I go to church and the message is ironic to my life.

But now, it doesn’t bother me at all.

Whenever I decided to just start trusting in Christ with all my might, I will be nothing in life with Him. And it wasn’t just that. It was reading my scriptures, praying and going to church. If your faith isn’t growing in Christ, then take a step back a nourish the garden. That’s another thing I’ve learned.

Then my testimony became stronger, my whole world started changing for the good.

I’m no saint and I keep making mistakes everyday, but with Him on my side its much easier to just live life.

This past January is the happiest I’ve ever been in my whole entire life. That whole month was full of never-ending happiness and joy because of Christ. I didn’t complain about anything for once in my life.

I testify that God really is a man of wonder, I’m living prove of that.

Happily Ever After

The idea of marriage for some odd reason has been more prevalent in my life lately. I couldn’t think of any valid reasons besides knowing tons of engage couples at the moment.

It just scares me to even think of been married at 19. I would like to say that I’m somewhat immature on a lot of various levels, others might agree too. Which is very okay with me.

I’ve also been watching a lot of romance movies lately, but still. I had a tough time deciding what I want to eat for dinner tonight. Let see for dinner I had, edamame, tilapia fish, toast with peanut butter, almonds and pretzels. I couldn’t decide so I had a little bit of everything. Imagine me deciding at this age who I want to spend the rest of my life with. Not happening, I have to find the guy first anyways.

Yesterday at church, this couple sat next to me. By their example I realized why I like sitting in the front by myself. I always feel so awful because people always want me to sit by them, but I could never really give them a valid reason on why I oppose the idea. This girl would not stop scratching the guys back. I absolutely have no problem with people been affectionate, but there’s a limit. It was so loud, It felt like she was scratching the board with chalk. Yea that bad! It was supper distracting . In my head I was yelling, but I couldn’t bring myself to say anything out loud, because of the environment we were in.

My favorite couple is getting married at the end of April if San Francisco or San Diego, not too sure where. But those two are literally a match made in heaven. When I think about how it all started for them, I just want to slow dance in a burning room. I can’t imagine missing their wedding, not for anything is this world. It makes my heart melt when two people that absolutely deserve one another find each other. I’m not the fairy tale type of girl, but that one is one for the history books. Its indeed a tale worth telling. To think of how I met them both, and how important they are in my life, it really just brings tears of happiness to my life.

Okay, I lied, I do believe in fairly tales and that everyone will get their share. There I said it!

Between Chris Martin of Coldplay and John Mayer, I’m not sure who my heart belongs to. Probably neither , but they both are amazing musicals that I’m very fond of. Both would make an excellent wedding singer. It would be spectacular to have them perform at on my big day in approximately 100 million years.

Do I think marriage is overrated? Yes and no. If you think of the cost of marriage and the high divorce rate that follows with it, yea I would say its very much overrated. On the other hand, if you think of the value, the never enduring love two people have for one another, its almost like making rainbows out of skittles. Its absolutely stunning! But how many people actually get that happily ever after that we all sought after? Very little.

So is it safe to say that it doesn’t exist or better yet, its also overrated. There are always the exceptions to everything in life. So yea off course I’m aware that some couple indeed make it all the way, but there are so little of them that their happiness isn’t celebrated in our society. You don’t see billboards, on the streets congratulating you for been married for 50 years or even anything less of the matter. But you do see plenty advertising “quick divorce”.

This is what society had come to, degrading marriage as a whole. I don’t want to be another statistical value of the divorce industry, I want to be the exception. I want to be one in a billion, not one of the billion.

If you’re married please never let your love for your partner, wife, husband (whomever) stop blooming. The sky’s not the limit, so let it grow so much that heavens doors are shinning upon your lives. You get one change to live, so don’t waste another second questioning if its right, don’t let society dictate your life.

And if you’re still single looking for that special someone. Don’t be scared to fall and get back up again.

Marry for good reasons, marry for love, marry for a life long partner. And no matter how much you might be go off the trial, you will always find a away back to one another.

“Time flies but you’re the pilot. It moves real fast but you’re the driver. You may crash and burn sometimes.

This is why we do it this is worth the pain. This is where we bow down get back up again. This is where the heart lies this is from above. Love is this, this is love” (Love=This, by the Script).

I am standing for every loving relationship, I hope you can hear me, for this love at its finest!

Just a thought.

So interesting few days, I wish I could say I had a better excuse for not blogging more. My computer really did crash. I did a little bit of writing yesterday; it was different in the essence that I’ve pretty much rely on my laptop to write. I use OneNote, let me just say it’s amazing.

I lost 2 years worth of journaling that I’ve done, thousands of pictures. Yea it sucks, but I will live. The pictures were the things that hurt especially the most. The writing, I concluded maybe it was for my own good, but you can say otherwise.

It’s amazing to me how much I’ve grown from been so much dependent on technology. In the past my computer would have most definitely been fixed within a few days or nothing more than a week of the incident. But it’s been almost a month now, but I do have a desktop at home so it wasn’t that bad.

I’m currently listening to T.Swift “Speak Now”. Extremely bold lyrics, she didn’t just stand there and watch the cheerleader marry the love of her life, she crashed the wedding and surprised them all. I love it! She made things happen, not excuses. Everyone says all her songs are the same, I completely disagree. Yea, her theme is always romance, but in “Speak Now” she evolved from the stereotypical expectations of society in regards to love songs and tells a story of how she learned from it all. She didn’t sugarcoat her lyrics; she tells it how it is. Which is something I’m sure wasn’t easy for her to do. The entire album is literally a story worth telling, so well said Taylor Swift.

I’m very thankful to God for what I have in life.

Brand New Year.

2010 was EPIC. I’m so glad it’s over, I’m so looking forward to what this year has in store. I know its great things, which is why I’m very hopeful. I will share my new year resolutions with the world in a few days ( i have to first write it).

First, I want to thank God, for EVERYTHING he has done, and all that he continues to do in my life. He means a great deal to me, for he’s undeniably the best things that’s EVER been mines.

I’m moving in a few days, I’m still praying my parent’s will let me take the car that’s suppose to be mines to school. I actually got a lot of packing done today, something I’ve wanted to say for a while. There’s actually walking path in my room now. Successful day I must say… Oh very much so.

Ahh man! I always forget the time zone differences when writing on here. Well it’s still the 1st in Texas.

Happy New Year to all, I hope it was everything or better yet, more than you could’ve ever imagined.

Decisions

This week I rekindled my love for strong individuals who have been through it all, and somehow still smile despite adversity. I’ve always admire them, but this week especially, it’s on a whole different level.

To be or not to be, that is the question, one of the most famous lines from
Shakespeare. Every day we are making choices, given choices and dealing with
either consequences or rewards of those choices.

How do we know if we are making the right decisions? Perhaps we can always look at the outcome for the answer, or maybe we won’t even find out till years from now. Either way it’s so very important to think about the choices we make now for it can make or break our future.

I hate to turn this into my own personal venting tool, for I despise it when
others do this. This will probably never happen again, so I apologize in
advance for been a hypocrite.

From the toughest decisions to the ones that definitely didn’t need much thought, we’ve all made decisions at some point in life. Whether we want to own up to those choices or not is the question. For better, or worse we have to make choices, its part of life forever and always.

A few years ago I made some choices that have alter the course of my life, both good and bad. Looking back today I asked myself “what in the world was I thinking”. I’ve even asked whether or not my brain was functioning properly. One of those choices I do regret, but I have learned so much from it. It’s broaden my horizon on so many aspects of life that I cannot even begin to explain. On the other hand, the pain it brought to my life is unbearable. And everyday I am going to have to live with it, and smile. I do still have the days where it just really hit me, and I completely breakdown.

This brings me to the thought of happiness. Happiness my friend is not a destination, it’s a journey. I’ve especially had a hard time with this, because I’ve always been chasing it for so long. Then one day I decided to stop, and then it found me. I didn’t even realize how happy I was till somebody else mentioned it. But lately this journey hit a few stop lights and it doesn’t feel as smooth as it was lets’ say at this time a year ago. I know it’s telling me to pause and revaluate my life, but I feel like I’ve been doing that all year long. Sometimes I just feel like I am not ready to make this life changing choices. I mean it impacts my life greatly; I’m not taking about what shirt I have to put on today or what I should eat. I am taking about career, family etc. They all look like a breeze, but when you actually have to decide on them, it’s tough.

At the beginning of this year, my Bishop told me that I’m going to have to make very important choices this year. In my head I was thinking oh yea I know, but I didn’t actually. I was thinking oh yea I have to decide what I really want to do with my life, what I am mostly passionate about. While that was indeed one the choices I’ve made thus far this year, it’s one of the many and the year isn’t even over yet. So imagine what the next 2 1/2 month has in-store for me. Perhaps its’ indeed part of been an adult, but its’ the timing I’m not so fond of. Do all this really have to happen at once? How can I be so sure that I am making the right choices? I just pray to God, and ask him to help me. He’s the best thing I’ve got in my life, so I ask him for help always

With all this, I am so glad for the trials I’m gone and going through. It’s made me who I am, without them I really don’t think I’ll be the same person. Every day is something new, I learn from it and move on. And if I ignore it, it comes back till I get the message, then it becomes history. But it really haunts me till I make a choice on it. Wow! I just realize this now. I guess now I just answer my own question, on why history keeps repeating itself in my life. With the answer been so simple, why did it take me this long to finally acknowledge this? Yea I’m the type of person that likes to deal with things as they come, but I do push something’s aside till I can deal with it. This I definitely have to change.

I need to start taking action, instead of just saying “oh I am going to do this”. It’s easier said than done. The whole world knows, yet while is action so hard to take? Everything
happens for a reason it’s something I’ve always know to be true, because of what life constantly throws at me. Since I know that, it makes dealing with certain trials a bit easier. I just handle it better, and I try my best to not complain.

I’ve been meaning to post this for a while, I still have so much to say but I should stop now. I must dedicate this to all of the indecisive people worldwide. I feel your pain; it’s going to get better. It might help to just make your decision quick and fast and not ponder too long especially when the right choice is obvious.

The Honorary Title

I have to say a lot has happen in just a month. I am not very surprised that I haven’t kept up with this blog. I did write worthy entries, but it was never posted. One of the main reasons why I haven’t publish anything on here is simply because I am very ashamed of the endless grammar errors I constantly make. I am not perfect, but it’s extremely elementary of me to not know my grammar rules. The “Comma” rule is definitely my biggest challenge. I just don’t know how to use it effectively.

I’ve had extremely rare epiphanies this past few month. Well I shouldn’t use the word rare. “Unexpected” or even “caught off guard” sounds more proper.

The future, school, life and everything in that entity has been on my mind for a long time. This last month, it became more prevalent. It’s like God is really trying to send me a message. And Satan on the other hand is filling my mind with negativity.

Well, how? I’ve been doubting myself a lot lately. Everyone is guilty of that at some point in their life, but mines has been too much. Its’ like the other person in my life, and I really want it out. I don’t want to live with such disturbance.

Also, I’ve been thinking about all the big decisions I have to make and to be frankly honest, I don’t know what to do. Which is why the future looks scary. As imperfect as I am I still want to make the best decision and not look back with regret.

Perhaps the one person who has given me comfort through this whole process is my heavenly father. He can never fail me. Yesterday, I had a really hard time concentrating while doing an assignment. Ironically a bible happens to be on the table I was using, so I opened it. Psalm 55 was the headline for the night. I was just so touched and relived after reading it. It was as if a huge weight was lifted off my body. I felt so much lighter. I’m always too scare to give my testimony in church. It’s mostly a fear of public speaking. But today, I testify that God is very much real and amazing. The changes that I’ve noticed in my life has been proved that I can trust in him. That miracles do actually happen. He’s been the only one I can pour my heart onto without been judged, or looked at differently. I’m so glad to have him in my life, as he’s the best thing that’s ever been mine. Just knowing that he’s there for me everyday and will never fail me puts my heart at peace. I know all the craziness I am dealing with will eventually pass. I put everything in his hand, and I will keep praying for as long as live. I know ” I can do everything through Christ who strengthen me” (Philippians 4:13).

As for my future, I am very hopefully. I am going to make a few changes. But changes are inevitable. They are extremely difficult to do, because we never want to change our way of doing things. It just has to be done. I have big goals in life, time to get serious and start making things happen, not excuses. I’ve learned this past month that there are no “short-cuts” to success. Then I started questioning why we have short cuts in general. I rather take the long way that’s straightforward , which will lead me to my destination than have to turn 10 times and not know where I am going at the end of the day. Bottom line, short cuts at times might be easier for it seems shorter , but in reality it’s actually long. With this said, I will be taking the long way home from now on.

I’m dictating this to everyone’s that’s in or ever been doubt about anything in life. Knee down and Pray, it would alleviate some of the pain, that I can testify to, because I am living prove that God is a man of wonders. I speak of which I know is true to my life and experiences I’ve been so privilege to have.

Today I challenge you to ask him to help you, I challenge you to pour your heart out onto him, and today I challenge you to pray without ceasing.

Just do it!

My first blog, I think the only reason why I never keep up with older blogs was because I was always afraid of what other would think. Plus I am just awful with grammar and I tend to write as I speak. But as of today I am afraid no more. I am going to continue writing as I speak. Why? Because I enjoy it! I didn’t really think my first blog on here would be about this, but oh well. I should probably start getting ready for bed as I have class in the morning. I hope I don’t regret signing up for this half marathon for I haven’t even started training yet. Every day I say “I am running today” But never happens. Whenever I get off my workout routines it takes a while for me to find my way back. And my 13 miles isn’t about to run itself, so I better start hitting the trail soon before I suffer severe consequences for not doing my part. That would also give me something to write about too. I need to start doing my p90X also. I am going to actually try and write daily. I am just going to do it! I am not even going to think twice about it. If I make this part of my daily life, I think I can make it happen. I need to stop writing in first person, but not too sure how to change that.

Let see my promises for starting this blog includes; been honest, I think been idealist would help also. And also I have to remember to just be myself. That’s important above anything else.

Shall we make some goals for tomorrow? I think so!

Whoa, I just try to close my laptop and I noticed that I used so many words than ended with “ing” and “g”.

Okay, back to goals. I have to work out tomorrow, finish my English paper that I will start tonight, and study off course, make an appointment to see my Optometrist, and do whatever else I forgot or cannot remember at the moment.

Oh I just thought of something, I should dedicate each blog to someone I know, and reasons should follow

Well then in that case, this is for Steve, he took me to church on Sunday (thanks) and he’s the first person I told to check out my blog.

Wonderful dreams to all.